essays

Rants, diatribes, attempts at humor.

Manos found guilty

Manos found guilty
Jury convicts Ithaca woman of murder, abuse of niece, 2”

Life recovers.
But not completely.
Wounds heal into scars, sometimes beautiful scars.
But not always.

Troubleshooting Rule #2: Is it turned on?

Another embarrassing discovery is that the thing in question isn’t working because you didn’t turn it on. This rule could come first, as in some sense it’s more basic than Rule #1, but for the simple AC-powered appliance, you have to plug it in before you can turn it on, so I list it second.

Again, there are lots more useful ways to think about whether you’ve turned something on. For instance:

Troubleshooting Rule #1: Is it plugged in?

A surprising number of day-to-day problems are solved when you realize that the thing just isn’t plugged in. Oops.

The obvious sense of “plugged in” is “plugged into the mains supply” - the AC wall outlet.

But there are many other useful senses to look for:

Weber's Troubleshooting Rules

  1. Is it plugged in?

  2. Is it turned on?

  3. Is it working as designed?

  4. What’s changed since it worked?

  5. What don’t you know?

Robot Taxonomy

Having been playing with various electronic gadget designs that might or might not be considered “robots,” and recently thinking about buying a Roomba, I was wondering what my own working definition of a robot actually is. Here’s what I came up with while washing the dishes.

Eleven Roses

Rose #12 Clara and I often get smiles from strangers as we walk through town, with Clara riding in her backpack, singing and swinging her feet. It was a great feeling that she was so happy: just three days ago she woke up from her nap with a fever of 106 degrees, and spent a traumatic evening in the emergency room. Any parent or child is frightened by such an experience, so I felt extra grateful for my sunny little girl on our walk today.

Today, Clara and I were walking home from a local grocery

Bad Tea

Do you love coffee? Or soda, or some other perky drink? Then perhaps you are annoyed now and then by reports of the health benefits of tea, with its antioxidants and its relaxing cultural traditions. Or perhaps a tea snob has extolled the refined subtleties of flavor it offers. So you know it’s a habit you should cultivate, instead of whatever depraved beverage or daily habit you currently pursue in the search for stimulation and/or security.

Well, I’m here to help you out. Because the procedure I am about to set forth will, if followed faithfully, allow you to say, honestly and with pride, “No thanks - I’ve tried tea, and I hated it.”

A gnostic ex-Catholic atheist Buddhist's Christmas carols

The following were actually written in the car one or two years ago; I just came across them again and decided it was the right time.

I’m dreaming of a green Christmas

I’m dreaming of a green Christmas
So I don’t have to shovel snow
‘Cause when I start liftin’,
My spine starts shiftin’,
And soon, my back will start to go…

Sump pump connection

You may recall that one of the features of my sump pump alarm was that I could theoretically hear it from bed.

It turns out that I can not only hear it from bed, I can hear it from bed while the train that woke me up is still passing through and the life companion is snoring. At almost exactly two AM. So that’s good to know. I would have been OK if that theory had never been confirmed, though.

And as I stumbled into my clothes and outside to the basement door, trying to avoid opening my eyes at all, I remembered Candace asking whether I really wanted a gadget that would

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