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[Clara and Timothy are quietly eating clementines for breakfast.]

Clara (suddenly, pointing): F-HOLE!!

T: …

T: …

T: …

T: …What?!

C: Your clementine peel. It looks like a violin’s F-hole.

T: … Oh! … Yes… Yes, it does. Of course that’s what you meant…

I recorded this quickly for my daughter’s kindergarten class to practice with. We performed it together at the All-School Program on 12 Feb 2010. Lots of kids sang along! That’s Clara and Katherine shouting the alphabet. My good recording gear wasn’t working, so this is recorded on a cheap condenser mic and a Sound Blaster card.

Clara: I love school, and going to sleep. They are two of my favorite things. But I like school best.

[as recorded by Catharine O’Neill, some months ago]

Clara: I’m glad we’re past the snake.

Timothy: What snake? I didn’t see a snake.

C: That black hose. It looks like a snake so I call it the snake hose.

T: Aah, yes.

C: I like you, Dad.

T: Oh, I like you too, Clara.

C: I think I’m going to like you all my life.

[as recorded by Catharine O’Neill, some months ago]

Clara: I found a jewel. When I have my bath, I’ll be a mermaid. You can hide the jewel in the bath. Then I can find it at the bottom of the ocean.

Timothy: OK. I’ll hide it when you’re not looking, or even thinking about it.

C: OK. (pause) It’s time to hide the jewel now.

T: Wasn’t I supposed to hide it when you’re not thinking about it?

C: Don’t worry, I’m not thinking about it.

I have now officially given up trying not to write songs about water. Maybe it’s because they always come to me in the shower? read more...

[Clara is ready to go to sleep. Whispering with Dad.]

C: Dad? I love you [deep breath] two thousand, a million, a hundred, a zillion, two thousand, a million, a hundred, a zillion, two thousand, a million, a hundred, a zillion… dollars.

T: Wow! That’s a lot.

(pause)

C: Um, I’m not actually paying you that money. It’s just how much I love you.

T: Oh, I understand.

(pause)

C: But if I had that much money, I’d give it all…

(pause)

C: I’d give half of it…

(pause)

C: I’d give a lot of it to you.

T: There’s not much left that I can teach you, is there?

(Clara enters, holding a hammer.)

Clara: Dad? Just to let you know: I would never, never hit you on the head with a hammer.

Timothy: That’s… good…?

C: And not even Mom either!

(exits)

[preceded yesterday by a discussion of how fast a kiss goes when you blow it, and by lots of instances of Dad looking up facts on his smart phone; Clara’s phone is a non-functional Motorola flip phone that we found in the street]

Clara: Oh, Dad: so I looked it up on my phone, and blowing kisses go at 30 miles per hour.

Timothy: Ah! Good to know. That’s pretty fast. I guess it’s OK, though, because they’re so light.

Clara: I LOVE STINKY CHEESE andyouandMom!