clara's blog

Broken bowl

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 21:52:02 -0400

[Clara is in the living room watching a movie. Mom and Dad are in the family room. They hear a crash. Coming to investigate, they find a ceramic bowl shattered on the floor and Clara standing near it.]

Dad: What happened? [pauses the movie]

Clara: The bowl fell and broke.

D: What did it have in it?

Damn door

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 20:17:56 -0400

[Katherine and Clara return home at the end of the school day.]

K: Oh, good - John took the sheetrock away! Hey - let’s see if he took the door!

[they go to the storage room]

K: He didn’t take the damn door.

C: What damn door? Where’s the damn door?

K: That door right there.

C: That’s a damn door?

K: Yup… that’s the door.

C: What’s a damn door?

K: Uh… This is just a door.

Not Pants

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 11:12:47 -0500

[Clara has gone to school in a nice new outfit. Mom picks her up.]

Mom: How’d that new outfit work out?

Clara: I like it.

Mom: How do those new pants feel?

Clara: Mom: they’re not pants.

Mom: Uh… what are they?

Clara: They’re leggings.

Mild cheddar

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 12:00:55 -0400

K: “I’m making eggs. Clara, do you want some?”

C: “Yes.”

T: “Could I put my name in for some too?”

K: “Sure. Do you want cheese on yours?”

T: “Yeah. What cheese do we have?”

K: “I’m having mild cheddar.”

T: “Sounds good.”

C: “I want your old cheddar too!”

A little fancy

Sat, 26 May 2007 10:10:16 -0400

[Clara is sick. Timothy wakes her up at night to give her medicine. She never fully awakens. But she says one last thing before closing her eyes.]

Clara: Dad?

Timothy: Yeah.

C: I put that… purple ribbon… on the… doorknob… so it’d be… little fancy.

T: Ah! I see.

C: [snore]

Winnie The Mondegreen

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:34:27 -0500

[Timothy and Katherine are discussing the next Star Trek movie, which is entering preproduction.]

Clara: Dad?

T: Yes?

C: I’m puzzled.

Preschool proof

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 15:53:56 -0500

The three-year-old logical process:

According to Thomas The Tank Engine, trains have “drivers.”
According to Busytown, trains have “engineers.”

Front page above the fold again

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 10:41:11 -0500

The local paper doesn’t keep their archives available very long, but here it is.

Second time in three years! Small town, I guess.

Parsnip

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 17:58:54 -0500

Clara begins her useful career as additional memory space for Dad’s brain.

(Clara is setting a play table.)

Clara: Heeeere’s your lunch, Dad.

Dad: Thanks! What is it?

C: It’s soup!

D: Mmm. What’s in this soup?

C: Noodles, and cheese, and… beans and…

D: Carrots?

C: Yes.

D: And split peas? I like split peas.

C: Yes!

D: And, uh… um… what are those white things that look like carrots… you know, they’re so good in soup… what’s the word, I can never remember it…

C: Parsnips?

D: Yes! Parsnips!

C: Yes!

Don't Panic

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 16:12:35 -0500

[Clara is drawing lots of letter H’s on her chalkboard.]

Katherine: Hey, do you want to try drawing some letter K’s?

Clara: Don’t panic, Mom, I’m just drawing H’s right now.

Best Toy

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 09:29:06 -0500

Clara: Daddy, you’re my best toy.

Timothy: Aw, thanks!

C: Come, toy!

[frantic arm gestures]

C: I’m playing with you!

Hickory Dickory Hat

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 22:40:40 -0400

[Clara is playing. Her mom has given her a small irregularly-shaped piece of leftover fabric with the ends stitched together; she wears it on her head and calls it a hat. She sees a toy clock on a shelf. Starts moving its hands around. Sings:]

Hickory, dickory, dock.
A mouse run up the clock.

[Clara’s “hat” falls off her head. Still singing, in tune:]

My hat fall off,
A mouse run down,
Hickory, dickory, dock.

Australia zoo

Tue, 21 Mar 2006 11:45:40 -0500

[contains many references to the Wiggles DVD Wiggly Safari and the song “Wobbly Camels”]

C: [singing] Wobbly camel walking by…

T: [singing] With padded hooves and hooded eye…

C: Camels at Buffalo Zoo.

Buckwheat song

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 10:47:12 -0500

Clara (to the tune, roughly of the Maisy theme song) (sung to her buckwheat cereal):

Buckwheat,
Buckwheat.
What you do today in my bowl?
Cock doodle doo.
I love you,
Buckwheat.

You need a kiss

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 20:22:05 -0500

[while Dad is changing Clara’s diaper for bed]

Dad: Who’s my girl?

Clara: Me!

D: And who’s your daddy?

C: Timothy John Weber. I kiss your fingers.

[kisses each finger on Dad’s left hand in turn]