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[Katherine and Clara return home at the end of the school day.]

K: Oh, good - John took the sheetrock away! Hey - let’s see if he took the door!

[they go to the storage room]

K: He didn’t take the damn door.

C: What damn door? Where’s the damn door?

K: That door right there.

C: That’s a damn door?

K: Yup… that’s the door.

C: What’s a damn door?

K: Uh… This is just a door.

[Clara has gone to school in a nice new outfit. Mom picks her up.]

Mom: How’d that new outfit work out?

Clara: I like it.

Mom: How do those new pants feel?

Clara: Mom: they’re not pants.

Mom: Uh… what are they?

Clara: They’re leggings.

K: “I’m making eggs. Clara, do you want some?”

C: “Yes.”

T: “Could I put my name in for some too?”

K: “Sure. Do you want cheese on yours?”

T: “Yeah. What cheese do we have?”

K: “I’m having mild cheddar.”

T: “Sounds good.”

C: “I want your old cheddar too!”

[Clara is sick. Timothy wakes her up at night to give her medicine. She never fully awakens. But she says one last thing before closing her eyes.]

Clara: Dad?

Timothy: Yeah.

C: I put that… purple ribbon… on the… doorknob… so it’d be… little fancy.

T: Ah! I see.

C: [snore]

[Timothy and Katherine are discussing the next Star Trek movie, which is entering preproduction.]

Clara: Dad?

T: Yes?

C: I’m puzzled.

The three-year-old logical process:

1. According to Thomas The Tank Engine, trains have “drivers.”

2. According to Busytown, trains have “engineers.”

The local paper doesn’t keep their archives available very long, but here it is.

Second time in three years! Small town, I guess.

Clara begins her useful career as additional memory space for Dad’s brain.

(Clara is setting a play table.)

Clara: Heeeere’s your lunch, Dad.

Dad: Thanks! What is it?

C: It’s soup!

D: Mmm. What’s in this soup?

C: Noodles, and cheese, and… beans and…

D: Carrots?

C: Yes.

D: And split peas? I like split peas.

C: Yes!

D: And, uh… um… what are those white things that look like carrots… you know, they’re so good in soup… what’s the word, I can never remember it…

C: Parsnips?

D: Yes! Parsnips!

C: Yes!

[Clara is drawing lots of letter H’s on her chalkboard.]

Katherine: Hey, do you want to try drawing some letter K’s?

Clara: Don’t panic, Mom, I’m just drawing H’s right now.

Clara: Daddy, you’re my best toy.

Timothy: Aw, thanks!

C: Come, toy!

[frantic arm gestures]

C: I’m playing with you!