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The Five Stages of Back Pain

August 1, 2012 - 5:12pm — tw

Having gone through the cycle of back pain many times, I felt like posting this handy chart to aid in discussion:

Stage	Pain	Phrase	Response	Activities
0	none	“woohoo”	charge around	anything
1	tweaks a bit	“oh”	stretches and strength exercises	careful lifting
2	twinges more often	“hm”	stretches, careful strength exercises, maybe ibuprofen	no lifting or bending
3	angrier twinges, aches most of the time	“not this again”	careful stretches, ibuprofen	no smiling or fast movement
4	constant ache and some stabbing	“oh no”	ibuprofen, cyclobenzaprene	no facial expression or unnecessary movement
5	strong pain whenever vertical and often when horizontal	“holy sh*t”	above + narcotics	lie and grimace

Fortunately, none of these last forever. Unfortunately, that includes Stage 0.

When are we going to get artificial discs? I’d like a whole new spine, please. read more...

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Parasites

June 4, 2012 - 10:50pm — tw

3:42 minutes (3.41 MB)

Clara and I wrote and recorded this for the Fall Creek Elementary School Talent Show, and she lip synced it with friends Ava, Clare, Grace, Nuala, and Tivona. It's a parody of "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz - see the (child-inappropriate) video on YouTube. I think it has to do with the similarities between the two most virulent parasites of childhood: pediculosis and Top 40 radio earworms.